The “B” Word

I have a confession to make.  We are a “no cash” family.  I say that as a confession because it goes against every money wise guru’s advice out there.  We use credit card for almost everything.

We are proud of the decisions we’ve made with our money.  In our almost 13 years of marriage we have not carried any debt outside of our mortgage and 2 small car loans (that only totaled 1.5 years of our marriage).  Of course, we just started a new car loan.  bleh.  However, it is small and we hope to have it paid off soon.   We do not live hand to fist.  However, we do make sacrifices.

We also do not have a real budget.  This may shock some of you.  We have tried to institute a budget several times in our marriage.  Every time we do it causes friction.  When there is no detailed budget we rarely fight over money.  I have never read a case study by Dave Ramsey such as ours, but I’m just keeping it real here.

Instead of a budget, we have goals.  We are both big picture people.  Perhaps that is why we start to seizure when we go on a detailed budget?  Here are what our big picture goals look like.

Tithe and other giving (for us this is a non negotiable)

Save 10% net of each paycheck

Pay one extra mortgage payment per year (we apply an extra amount per pay)

Save $100 per paycheck.  This savings is for our “big bills”.  We have our car insurance, life insurance, pool membership, vacation, Christmas money, ect divided out over the year.  This is the amount we need to save so that when the bill comes we have the money.

$4800/year on groceries. 

After that there is no real budget. We try to keep our eating out minimal.  The other way we “manage” money?  We simply check our credit card bill several times per month.  We know what the amount needs to be at to easily pay our bill and still have extra for savings.  So that is our “goal”.  If the bill is getting high, we put our spending on hold outside of necessities.  That is the goal at least.  We all know it doesn’t always work out like that.  So, I guess in a way we “monitor” our spending. 

I am in no way advising ANYone to manage their money this way.  For us, it has worked well for the past 13 years.  However, I have been tossing around going to a cash based system.  It is scary to change because what we do has worked for us.  Though I  wonder if we could do better?.  Lately it seems like expenses are coming faster than ever before.

I’m going to be honest.  It feels overwhelming to switch.  We have always tended to spend cash quicker than credit (at least it feels that way) so I am a bit intimidated.  Plus the idea of budgeting everything from doctor appointments to haircuts seems stifling.

So, I would love to hear your thoughts!  Have you made the credit to cash switch?  Do you have a budget or do you have big picture goals? What has or hasn’t worked for your family?

Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day!  It is such a memorable day for me. Last year, I shared "our story" on my other blog.

I will be honest in that we really don't go crazy around here.  The hubby and I were able to enjoy an impromptu evening out on Friday night.  We view that as our Valentine's celebration. 

My husband used to shower me on Valentine's Day, but he knows that it drives me crazy to know how much he paid for flowers that he could get on discount next week.   So each year, I ask him not to buy me anything.  Hopefully, he will actually comply this year.

As I chatted with a friend this morning, she encouraged me to write this post.  Why?  Because so often frugality can blur other parts of your life. As I shared before, saving money can easily become an idol. Yes, sacrifice is involved and things must be given up.  However, there are times when frugality must be placed to the side.

Today is one of those days.  I  know how much my husband  loves a good ol' pot roast. He would eat pot roast every other night.  However, he knows that this is not on my list of frugal meals.   I often explain to him how meat as a main dish is pure lavishness.

So, this morning I stopped at the grocery store to buy a big juicy pot roast for dinner.  Why?  Because I love my husband and this is a way I can say, "hey...your still the hot guy I love".  Not just because it is his favorite meal, but because he knows that I am putting aside something important to me (eating healthily and cheaply) for him. 

I do not reserve pot roasts just for Valentine's day.  I fully believe in serving meals I know my husband loves throughout the month no matter what the cost.  Though today is about an extra dose of love because he knows how excited I am to use my dirt cheap turkey.

I just want to encourage you to find little ways to honor and love your husband.  Not just on Valentine's Day but throughout the year.  If  your frugal cooking and living is driving a wedge between the two of you, step back for a little.

If he wants you to cook more cheaply and you don't want to?  Then make him a big ol' pot of black bean soup tonight (which is yummy by the way) and tell him how much it cost.  It is honoring him on the other side of the spectrum.

This is not a marriage blog.  However, I have a small platform and I want to use it to encourage you.  Marriage is hard. Yet, it is a beautiful gift that we sometimes take for granted. 

Whether it be through beans or a pot roast, honor your guy this week.